The good news post

In sharing this post, it's important for you as the reader to know that there is the very real issue of me (and Ell) swallowing some embarrassing humble pie on the way to the good news. But in that embarrassment there is growth and the just-as-real possibility that our pain can be encouragement to you. And that's why I want to share it.

Ell and I were married in 1997 and within the first month of marriage we found ourselves in a financial situation we were unfamiliar with. Before I continue I must say I am greatly distressed there isn't more emphasis placed on financial counseling given by older adults to young couples. There is no way to prepare oneself for what it means to co-habitate with a lover, and that is no more apparent than in the area of finances. As is usual with most couples, no one sat us down and told us what to expect. That might sound like a slam on our parents, but I earnestly feel that type of counsel shouldn't come from parents. Kids see the mistakes and errors parents make (and try to hide), and because of that most young adults would have a hard time respecting (or even taking) a parent's advice. Even if they loved and honored their parents, in the back of their minds they also know their shortcomings and that presents an invisible hurdle hard to clear.

That said...
When Ell and I entered into our marriage I had just started a new job. While it wasn't much compared to the world's standards, it was more than twice the money I'd ever made before. Ell had also been moved from her counter job at a busy restaurant to the position of waitress which meant she had thirty to sixty dollars in her pocket at the end of every night. All of that meant we had more money than we knew what to do with. Where's the problem, right? The problem lay in the fact that we were young folks without direction.

In a few short years we bought and sold our first house, purchased another one, purchased a brand new car amongst many used ones (and a motorcycle), bought a pricey purebred dog, took trip after expensive trip, and threw more parties than I can remember. We were living the life.

During that time we were playing the credit card game. When we got married I had one credit card and its balance held only Ell's engagement ring. After we bought our second house and car, our credit scores soared and with those amazing scores we were sent credit card after credit card and boy did we use them. When a balance would get too high on one, I'd transfer it to another card with a low intro rate, and then start all over again. I think you can see where this is headed.

In the year 2000, I decided to go into the financial field. Unfortunately that meant a drastic drop in my income until I got to where I needed to be. The credit cards that we'd been using for fun now became our lifeline. We paid bills with cash advance checks. All the gas we put in our cars and the food in our fridge were on credit. It even got so bad we started paying our credit card payments with other credit cards.

As the year 2004 drew to a close, we were spending $400-$600 more per month than we were making. To make it worse, we had ten credit cards maxed out with a total balance of close to $90,000. Yes, $90,000. Scary wouldn't come close to our emotions at that point in our marriage.

Since it was obvious what we were doing wasn't working, we sat down with an older adult couple and humbly asked for advice. In my mind I was hoping they'd give me money, but instead they offered something much better..... sound financial advice and a prayer for our future. For the sake of time and privacy I won't go into what their advice was, but I will say they weren't easy on us. The advice was to-the-point and forced us to be honest about our habits and our lifestyle. We left their house, went home, and started working on a plan. We had to make some tough decisions, but by mid-2005 we had set our plan in motion. (I want to mention I'm not a fan of bankruptcy and I'm proud to say we didn't go down that road.)

Well that was five years ago. I would like to announce that as of this month, our plan will see its end. YAY! As of the end of June, all of our credit cards will be paid off. Done. Zero balance. Closed. With interest and service charges we ended up spending over $100,000, but we did it. Please join us as we do our happy dance!

While being stupid and spending outside our income doesn't make us financial experts, the fact that we successfully dug ourselves out of that nightmare means we did something very few others can say they've completed. And I wouldn't be returning the favor if I didn't offer the same thing that couple so generously gave to us: the gift of good advice. While I have no desire to know anyone's private financial affairs, if you have questions about how we did what we did, I would love to answer them. (Not on the blog, of course.) If you want advice and are willing to be painfully honest, I'd love to help. Just ask.

I hope this post came off as happy as I'm feeling about our finances. What a relief it is to know that all our hard work has finally paid off. One more time with the happy dance! And there's your good news post.