At the Bank -- Friday Funny

Still dealing with some stress and anxiety about the robbery, so I thought I'd instead post some humor from my banking life.

A guy called me about a CD renewal, and after a few questions and answers, he started talking to himself. He had been talking for a good thirty seconds before I realized this was going to last awhile. I pulled up a blank email page and started transcribing what he was saying. Enjoy...

This used to be that and that used to be
Okay
Now that used to be that and this was
Okay
Now I'm going to need this
And now that
And now I have to do this
People ask me how I know the tax code
That can't be right
You don't want to know why I know tax code
It can because that is that and this is that
This one we now require
So
Now compare this number to this number
And this is that
We've covered that and that and that
Sugar Bear
Well
Now I need a new calculator
I subdivided a property and one rent used to be that rent
But now its a different rent
So I can adjust that and adjust this so this can do that
Now we're going to apply some Tennessee windage
And I know what Tennessee windage is
Circumstances being what they are
Now having said that
I need to up this amount so that I can snort and giggle
Are we over eighty one percent yet
Yes we are
Now we aren't
Yes we are
Yes, no, alright
I'm gonna date this just in case the State comes knocking

How do we get here from there?
Sam, you still with me?