Friday, July 07, 2006

Friday Fun

Health Question & Answer Session

Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is that true?
A. Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.......don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap!

Q. Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A. You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are those? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Q. Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A. No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine; that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you can get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. So, bottoms up!

Q. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A. Well if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.

Q. What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A. Can't think of a single one, sorry.

Q. Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A. You're not listening! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q. Will sit-ups prevent me from getting a little soft in the middle?
A. Definitely not. When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q. Is chocolate bad for you?
A. Are you crazy? Hello. Cocoa beans. Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!

Q. Is swimming good for your figure?
A. If it is, explain whales to me.

Q. Is getting in-shape important for a healthy lifestyle?
A. Hey! Round is a shape.

Have a great weekend! I'll talk at ya'll on Monday!


Blogger Adrienne said...

I laughed. I will not be too interested in swimming from now on, however, I was glad for some additional support in the chocolate eating department.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Kimmy said...

I just love vegetables:-)

2:38 PM  

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