At the Bank

I realize that some of the stuff that banks do can be confusing. But there are some things, like words, that transcend the color of your collar and are common sense. Like the word base. A base is the bottom, it’s a standard, and it’s the simplest form of any retail item. Here’s a conversation that just happened in my office.The names have not been changed to protect the stupid.

Me: “Can I help you?”
Mr. Irwin: “I was wondering what your loan rates are on vehicles?”
Me: “What year is the vehicle you’re buying?”
Mr. Irwin: “It’s a 1999 truck that’s in really good shape.”
Me: “Our automobile loans have a base rate determined by the year of the vehicle.”
Mr. Irwin: “What?”
Me: “Our automobile loans have a base rate determined by the year of the vehicle.”
Mr. Irwin: “I heard you.” (So why did you say the word what?) “So what are they based on?” (I thought he said he heard me.)
Me: “The base rate for our vehicles is determined by the year of the vehicle...”
Mr. Irwin: “And the credit score?” (He just interrupted me. I don't like that.)
Me: “No. The base, where the rates start, is based on the year…”
Mr. Irwin: “And the mileage?” (Interrupting again)
Me: “No. The base, where the rates start, is based on the year…”
Mr. Irwin: “I don’t understand.” (Once again interrupting)
Me: “Please let me fully explain what I mean. The base rate, in other words what the lowest rate is, is based on the year of the automobile. Things like bad credit score and high mileage and the worth of the vehicle based on the loan amount can make the rate higher. But the rate will never go below the base rate. The base is the bottom. The base is the lowest rate for that year.”
Mr. Irwin: “What?”

It was at this point that I bludgeoned him with my Rolodex.

Seriously people, I don’t think I talk in a highly sophisticated manner and I try to use common words when I speak. This guy just couldn't understand anything I was saying. It's only 9:30 in the morning, but a beer sounds really good right now.