Friday Funny/At the Bank
In lieu of a joke, I thought I'd share a couple incidents from the wacky world of banking in PodunkTown-USA.
First story... Two weeks ago I did a 'Personal Line of Credit' application for a lady. She already had a line with a $2500 balance that she hadn't used. She wanted to raise the limit to $5000 for Christmas shopping. Yeah, I know. (Some technical bank information here: Raising the limit on an existing line of credit results in the closure of the original line and a new one created with the new dollar amount.) After I had explained the process I entered the application into the computer. Unfortunately, her income didn't qualify her for a higher amount. Her credit was approved but only for $2500. If you're following along with the story, that's what she already had. I called her and apologized that she hadn't been approved for the higher amount. Her present line was still open and all the funds were still available. But she wasn't going to get a new loan. She was disappointed but thanked me for my time.
She called me back at the end of the week. Here's the conversation:
Lady: I decided I want to take that new Line of Credit.
Me: You weren't actually approved for a new Line, but you do have a Line with available funds you can use.
Lady: I do?
Me: Yes.
Lady: So what do I do with the new one.
Me: There is no new one. You weren't approved for the $5000.
Lady: But I don't want $5000, I only want $2500.
Me: That's what you have, and you can use it right now if you want to.
Lady: Oh thank you very much. Now I can can go Christmas shopping.
Me: You're welcome.
Skip ahead to this morning. She calls me back and this is the interaction:
Lady: I decided I want to take that Line of Credit. Can you sign me up for that?
Me: I'm sorry. What was your question?
Lady: I want to go ahead and take that Line of Credit I was approved for. Can I come in and sign the paperwork this morning?
Me: You weren't actually approved for a higher amount. The only thing you qualify for is the amount you already have.
Lady: Alright, I want that.
Me: You already have that. The full balance is available to you right now.
Lady: Oh, OK. I didn't know I had one already. Thanks for your time.
Anyone think I'm gonna get another call next week?
Second story... This is from a while ago, but I keep forgetting to tell you. If you have children, cover their eyes.
Really old man is waited on by one of my tellers. He then comes to the door of my office and says:
"I been having a lot of problems with my pee hole. Sometimes I have to pump by balls for a few minutes just to get things going."
And then he walked out.
Anyone want my job?
No one?
Have a great weekend everyone.
First story... Two weeks ago I did a 'Personal Line of Credit' application for a lady. She already had a line with a $2500 balance that she hadn't used. She wanted to raise the limit to $5000 for Christmas shopping. Yeah, I know. (Some technical bank information here: Raising the limit on an existing line of credit results in the closure of the original line and a new one created with the new dollar amount.) After I had explained the process I entered the application into the computer. Unfortunately, her income didn't qualify her for a higher amount. Her credit was approved but only for $2500. If you're following along with the story, that's what she already had. I called her and apologized that she hadn't been approved for the higher amount. Her present line was still open and all the funds were still available. But she wasn't going to get a new loan. She was disappointed but thanked me for my time.
She called me back at the end of the week. Here's the conversation:
Lady: I decided I want to take that new Line of Credit.
Me: You weren't actually approved for a new Line, but you do have a Line with available funds you can use.
Lady: I do?
Me: Yes.
Lady: So what do I do with the new one.
Me: There is no new one. You weren't approved for the $5000.
Lady: But I don't want $5000, I only want $2500.
Me: That's what you have, and you can use it right now if you want to.
Lady: Oh thank you very much. Now I can can go Christmas shopping.
Me: You're welcome.
Skip ahead to this morning. She calls me back and this is the interaction:
Lady: I decided I want to take that Line of Credit. Can you sign me up for that?
Me: I'm sorry. What was your question?
Lady: I want to go ahead and take that Line of Credit I was approved for. Can I come in and sign the paperwork this morning?
Me: You weren't actually approved for a higher amount. The only thing you qualify for is the amount you already have.
Lady: Alright, I want that.
Me: You already have that. The full balance is available to you right now.
Lady: Oh, OK. I didn't know I had one already. Thanks for your time.
Anyone think I'm gonna get another call next week?
Second story... This is from a while ago, but I keep forgetting to tell you. If you have children, cover their eyes.
Really old man is waited on by one of my tellers. He then comes to the door of my office and says:
"I been having a lot of problems with my pee hole. Sometimes I have to pump by balls for a few minutes just to get things going."
And then he walked out.
Anyone want my job?
No one?
Have a great weekend everyone.
posted by Sam at 10:26 AM
3 Comments:
That is hysterical. The old guy made me laugh out loud. I'm still laughing. If I had been drinking anything it would have come out my nose. Did you follow him? Did you call the police? Watch out your window to make sure he left?
And my mom always told me money wasn't clean.
I'm speechless. Laughing, but speechless.
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