Getting worse

I know talking too much about yourself is a surefire way to lose readers, but a few of you have expressed concern for me and want to know how I'm doing. If you're not in the latter group, this might be a post to skip.

I went to the doctor last Wednesday and she came up with the same diagnosis as the ER doctor: something post-viral. What kind of virus? No one can tell me. And it pisses me off. What the heck is going on with me? To answer my questions, she ordered some blood work and stuck me on a different pill. I started the pills the next morning after they took four vials of blood out of me, and then Laura and I headed to Columbus.

I guess the pills are working alright at reducing the joint pain, but they aren't stopping the horribly painful swelling. My ankles and feet are almost double their normal size and my skin hurts so bad. It literally feels like the skin is ripping every time I take a step. From the tops of my feet to the middle of my calves, the skin is bright red. The biggest problem with this is that the swelling is getting worse every day.

And to be as honest as a friend encouraged me to be, the intense swelling is scaring me. Scaring me to the point of tears on a daily basis. Why is this happening and what does it mean for my future? Will I ever be able to hike again? When can I get back in my garden? What if this doesn't stop? What if this takes away my ability to walk? I'm scared, friends. I'm really scared.

All that said, I'm trying to be strong for Laura. Tomorrow is her pinning ceremony; the culmination of nursing school. This is the woman who jumped into college after being out of school for ten years. This is the woman who jumped past her initial plan of an Associates Degree and the title of LPN, and then past a regular Bachelor's degree with a title of RN, to a better Bachelor's degree with the title of Advanced RN. This is the woman who worked sometimes seventy hours a week, went to school sixteen hours, and had a clinical schedule of twelve hours a week. This is the woman who one semester slept only three hours a night with a nap of two hours in the afternoon for the entire semester. She is such an impressive person and I am so proud of her. I need to be as strong as I can for her tomorrow night. It needs to be all about her. It's going to be hard.

I have another doctor's visit tomorrow afternoon to find out my lab test results and hopefully get some answers. Wish me luck. And thanks for reading.