Friday, March 30, 2007

Friday Funny

I hate how St. Patrick's Day comes and goes so quickly. I'm holding out one more week and to that end I bring you a few more good Irish jokes. I promise to go back to non-Irish humor next week. Enjoy.

Old man Paddy Murphy had a little too much to drink and was driving home from the pub late one night. As could be expected, his car was weaving violently all over the road. Officer O'Conner saw his erratic driving and pulled him over.

"So," O'Conner said to Paddy, "where ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurred Paddy.
"Well, it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening, Paddy."
"I did for sure," Paddy replied with a smile.
O'Conner straightened up, crossed his arms and asked, "Did you know that a few intersections back your wife fell out of the car?"
Paddy sighed a huge sigh and answered, "Oh thank heavens! For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."


Mary Clancy went up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday sermon, her eyes filled with tears. Seeing her sadness Father O'Grady asked, "What's bothering you Mary my dear?" She replied, "Oh Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest was shocked and said, "Oh Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?" She thought for a minute and answered, "Why, yes he did Father." "What did he ask, Mary?" She said, "He was crying and said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun."


And finally a classic for all times...
Brenda O'Malley was home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan knocked on her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asked. "I've got somethin' to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in," replied Brenda. "You're always welcome here Tim. But where's my husband?"
Tim looked at the floor and said, "That's what I'm here to be telling ya Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."
"Oh goodness no!" shrieked Brenda. "Please don't tell me!"
"I'm afraid I must," said Tim. "Your husband Shamus is dead and gone."
Through her tears, she looked up and said, "How did it happen Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear sweet Shamus. But tell me the truth, did he go quickly?"
Tim looked confused and said, "Well, no he didn't. In fact he got out three times to go pee!"

Have a great weekend everyone!


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