Friday, April 20, 2007

Friday Funny

An oldie but a goodie...

The IRS decided to audit Ralph, and sent him a summons for a meeting at the local IRS office. Not surprisingly to the auditor, Ralph showed up with his attorney. The auditor began, "Well sir, you seem to have an extravagant lifestyle with no full time employment, which you explain by saying you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thought for a moment but saw nothing illegal in allowing an example, so he answered, "Alright, go ahead."

Ralph leaned back and said, "I'll bet you one thousand dollars that I can bite my own eyeball." The auditor knew this to be impossible and agreed to the bet. As they shook hands, Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it. The auditor was speechless and reluctantly handed over the money.

Ralph continued, "Now I bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite the other eye." The auditor could tell Ralph wasn't blind and that his other eye was real, so he agreed to the bet. After they had shaken hands, Ralph removed his false teeth and proceeded to bite his good eye with the dentures. The auditor was stunned at the fact that he had just lost three grand, and nervous because he had done it in front of Ralph's attorney.

"Want to go double or nothing?" asked Ralph. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk, and without moving it, pee into that wastebasket on the other side of your office, and never get a drop in between." The auditor, twice burned, was more than cautious. He looked carefully and decided there was no way this guy could manage such a stunt, and so he agreed to the bet.

Ralph stood up on the desk, unzipped his pants, and started peeing. Even though he was straining as hard as he could he couldn't make the stream reach the waste basket and ended up peeing all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaped in joy as he realized he had just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney just moaned and put his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" asked the auditor. "Not really," said the attorney. "When Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Have a great weekend everyone!

4 Comments:

Blogger 3rd string's finest said...

I actually peed a little on that one....I think. that was flipping funny, Sam! I don't even know why. If I had any sense I would say that joke is retarded, but I don't and I am still laughing!

1:36 PM  
Blogger Close To Home said...

Sam, my new blog address is

www.look2thesky.blogspot.com

I changed it b/c I didn't want it to be my professional name for photography when I write for friends and family in general, KWIM?! :)

9:36 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Another good one...I always enjoy Fridays.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Thanks for the Link Amy. I'll change it on my blogroll.

11:12 AM  

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