At the Bank
The other day God gave me a little gift in my search for more time at this new branch; he killed the network for a day. Seriously. He used some AT&T guys to cut the wrong wires and cause our computers to go down, but it was God's gift directly to me. The branch had no email, no internet, and no banking network connection. That means I couldn't transfer to any other departments or do anyone else's job. It also meant none of the other branches or departments outside of ours were down. So that stack of papers I had that couldn't get done? Yeah, they're all gone now! I had almost an entire day to myself to do MY work. A real problem for the branch turned out to be a huge blessing for me.
On that day I also had time to write down a few of the crazy things I've seen here at this new branch. And since you all love them so much, here you go...
-Someone in my office did a loan for a guy named William Williams III. That's right, they liked the name William so much they used it twice, and then multiplied that by three. Oh, and this young guy's wife is pregnant with number IV. No kidding.
-I was on the teller line last week and I asked a lady how she wanted her change of 200 dollars back.
She said, "I want it all in sixties."
To which I said, "Do you mean twenties?"
To which she replied, "No, sixties. They spend easier."
To which I said, "There's no such thing as sixties, did you mean fifties?"
To which she replied, "No, I mean sixties. I know they make them because I get them here all the time."
To which I wanted to yell out, "Alright, who's been handing out the fake sixty dollar bills." But I refrained. Instead I said nicely, "Ma'am, are you sure you were given a sixty, 6-0, bill, here in this branch?"
To which she answered, now very embarassed, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I meant hundreds. I'm sorry honey."
To which I responded by lying, "Not to worry, it happens all the time. Have a nice day."
-A drunk guy came in the other day and asked me if we sold panties. All I could of think of was how lucky his lady-friend is going to feel on Valentine's day when she gets her drunk-purchased panties from the bank.
Hope you enjoyed these. I know I did.
On that day I also had time to write down a few of the crazy things I've seen here at this new branch. And since you all love them so much, here you go...
-Someone in my office did a loan for a guy named William Williams III. That's right, they liked the name William so much they used it twice, and then multiplied that by three. Oh, and this young guy's wife is pregnant with number IV. No kidding.
-I was on the teller line last week and I asked a lady how she wanted her change of 200 dollars back.
She said, "I want it all in sixties."
To which I said, "Do you mean twenties?"
To which she replied, "No, sixties. They spend easier."
To which I said, "There's no such thing as sixties, did you mean fifties?"
To which she replied, "No, I mean sixties. I know they make them because I get them here all the time."
To which I wanted to yell out, "Alright, who's been handing out the fake sixty dollar bills." But I refrained. Instead I said nicely, "Ma'am, are you sure you were given a sixty, 6-0, bill, here in this branch?"
To which she answered, now very embarassed, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I meant hundreds. I'm sorry honey."
To which I responded by lying, "Not to worry, it happens all the time. Have a nice day."
-A drunk guy came in the other day and asked me if we sold panties. All I could of think of was how lucky his lady-friend is going to feel on Valentine's day when she gets her drunk-purchased panties from the bank.
Hope you enjoyed these. I know I did.
posted by Sam at 10:06 AM
12 Comments:
Hysterical!
Were you able to sell the drunk man anything? If so what?
thats awesome that you were able to get all your work done. that will buy you at least a few more weeks right? and your stories sound like you're at least enjoying work a little.
I've always enjoyed what I do, but I don't enjoy being abused or used. Stories like these do make the day go easier, even in the worst of conditions. :-)
Praise God, thats awesome. Now all you need is for the AT&T guys to improperly secure a powerline and, while driving home from work, you see it fall, in a shower of deadly sparks, rush from your car and save a baby, that was playing in a nearby puddle, of a wealthy CEO who later gives you a 6 figure job; and/or you save an elderly man who, before he died of severe loneliness and/or a rampant wolverine, conveniently 2 days after the incident, wills to you his enormous life savings amounting to millions of dollars! beat that run-on, Lyndsay!
lol, seriously funny stories, i'll be calling you, in the next three and/or eleven days. Later, and/or bye.
So do you suppose they lady went home thinking, "That guy sure is a poor liar. That couldn't possibly happen all the time?!"
Those were pretty funny.
Glad you had a day to get something like caught up!
hey funny post!
have a good weekend!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cracked up at these! Who knew working at a bank provided so much entertainment!
Sam, have you ever thought of applying for a job at a bank in Detroit? We have a fellow who commutes from Ohio every day.
Ha! I'm glad that I get to read your blog and find out whats up in your life, you know, all the little things that you mean to but forget to tell me. I did know about the amazing temporary shut down and I am so glad that you were able to get everything done! Other than that if you ever bring me home "bank" panties with a 60 dollar bill in them I might flip!
yep..very funny!
Sam, I'm really sorry I stumbled into the bank drunk asking for panties like that. I could have sworn it said Victoria's Secret on the sign out front.
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