The Fourth of July

Even though I'm in the best emotional place I've been in a couple years, there are still random thoughts and memories that creep into my brain at unexpected times. July Fourth has always been my favorite holiday. Even though the history behind the holiday should mean more to me (and not that I don't care,) but the reason I love it so much is the fireworks. Love 'em. Always have, and always will.

For the first time since I was twenty years old, I won't be spending this, my favorite holiday, with Ell. Even though we were separated last year, she still came to a couple cookouts, and even went to the fireworks with me. But this year, I have no idea where she's at or who she'll be watching fireworks with. All I know for certain, is that it won't be with me.

Please don't read what I'm writing to insinuate that I'm sad. I'm not. In fact, I'm at perfect peace where I'm at in life. This has been a healing few months, and the fact that Ell won't be with me for the first time in sixteen years, doesn't change that. I'm not sad, or mad, or anything negative. I'm right where I want to be in life. That's refreshing.

All that said, it's been an interesting weekend sorting through memories, good and bad, of past Fourths. The fireworks will still be awesome, and my friends will still be amazing friends. There just won't be a hot redhead sitting next to me this year, that's all.