Can I scream now?
***Warning***If you're tired of hearing me talk about my job situation, you may want to stop reading for three months and then come back to see how it all turned out. I know other people have much bigger problems than I do, but this is what's on my mind and in my emotions right now, so I'll probably be talking about it for a while. You've been warned.
It's not been a fun week at work. Coming back from a relaxing vacation and being thrust right back into the midst of a very tumultuous job situation was not easy. I struggled with the very thought of putting on my tie Monday morning. I have nothing against the tie, or ties in general, but that tie was a huge representative of a job I'm not wanted at and where I don't want to be. It just felt wrong to try and put on a happy face and walk into a building that I've grown to despise.
Even what was a nice gesture made me struggle. My teller (and friend) Linda, from my last branch, came to see me Monday. She was, and is, having a really hard time figuring out how I can function and even be around people that I should be hating. I couldn't argue with her. My only answer was I have to make this work until I can find something else. I don't have a choice. On top of that, I'm not sure my faith would be worth much if I wasn't able to act civil and right towards the people I want to be hating and bad-mouthing and destroying. (And yes, my brain has entertained some very malicious thoughts.) Remaining upright and just needs to be my goal in these 90 days. But even that doesn't make me want to be here.
Tuesday the bank started a focus on a new banking program that (in theory) is supposed to save us time but in inception will end up taking up so much of the time we don't have enough of already. As I sat through a pointless tele-conference that afternoon on the program, all I could think was that I wanted to just walk away now instead of putting myself through the headaches it is already causing. Why, oh why, does this job seem like it's becoming more silly and non-productive than ever? (I know why; the question was rhetorical.)
Then yesterday, I had a meeting with my boss where he laid out another long list (twelve items) of things to be completed in the same 90 day window as the previous other five items that will determine when/if my job will be terminated. These twelve things are on top of all my regular duties and the fill-in jobs that haven't slowed since I came to this branch. I asked him how I was supposed to do more work on top of what my job description calls for now. His response? "These things are now part of your job description." Clever, isn't he?
Anyway, so that's been my week so far. My head teller is off all week so I'm wearing the Office Manager hat and a Teller hat, and trying to juggle all the stuff my boss keeps throwing at me. I knew it was going to get rough in their goal to have me quit, but I guess I wasn't prepared "enough" for what it would look like. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, and keep your ears open for jobs. 'Cause I'm gonna need one. ;-)
It's not been a fun week at work. Coming back from a relaxing vacation and being thrust right back into the midst of a very tumultuous job situation was not easy. I struggled with the very thought of putting on my tie Monday morning. I have nothing against the tie, or ties in general, but that tie was a huge representative of a job I'm not wanted at and where I don't want to be. It just felt wrong to try and put on a happy face and walk into a building that I've grown to despise.
Even what was a nice gesture made me struggle. My teller (and friend) Linda, from my last branch, came to see me Monday. She was, and is, having a really hard time figuring out how I can function and even be around people that I should be hating. I couldn't argue with her. My only answer was I have to make this work until I can find something else. I don't have a choice. On top of that, I'm not sure my faith would be worth much if I wasn't able to act civil and right towards the people I want to be hating and bad-mouthing and destroying. (And yes, my brain has entertained some very malicious thoughts.) Remaining upright and just needs to be my goal in these 90 days. But even that doesn't make me want to be here.
Tuesday the bank started a focus on a new banking program that (in theory) is supposed to save us time but in inception will end up taking up so much of the time we don't have enough of already. As I sat through a pointless tele-conference that afternoon on the program, all I could think was that I wanted to just walk away now instead of putting myself through the headaches it is already causing. Why, oh why, does this job seem like it's becoming more silly and non-productive than ever? (I know why; the question was rhetorical.)
Then yesterday, I had a meeting with my boss where he laid out another long list (twelve items) of things to be completed in the same 90 day window as the previous other five items that will determine when/if my job will be terminated. These twelve things are on top of all my regular duties and the fill-in jobs that haven't slowed since I came to this branch. I asked him how I was supposed to do more work on top of what my job description calls for now. His response? "These things are now part of your job description." Clever, isn't he?
Anyway, so that's been my week so far. My head teller is off all week so I'm wearing the Office Manager hat and a Teller hat, and trying to juggle all the stuff my boss keeps throwing at me. I knew it was going to get rough in their goal to have me quit, but I guess I wasn't prepared "enough" for what it would look like. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, and keep your ears open for jobs. 'Cause I'm gonna need one. ;-)
posted by Sam at 10:31 AM
7 Comments:
you're too good for them anyway!
This comment has been removed by the author.
get something that tracks where folks are coming from when they read your blog... you'll be able to see if someone at work found you...
on another note, we're praying. I think I've got a man-nanny position opening at 261 Rainswept...
Praying for you, Sam.
It can't be easy being in your shoes right now. Remaining civil and upright in a situation like this must be very difficult.
I'll keep my eyes open for job opportunities.
WOW...how do they sleep at night?
Again, people are wierd. Don't have time for a sermon tonight, but take two Psalms and call me in the morning.
I'd love to scream with you right now.
You are gonna need another vacation, too! I have to wonder if these people are well groomed or if they look all disheveled? The reason I ask is that I wonder how they can stand to look themselves in the mirror every morning...
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