Day one
I've decided to join the NaBloPoMo event once again this November. The gist of it is to post every day of the month. I think I remember hearing this happens every month but November must be the big one. If you want to read more about it or go to the NaBloPoMo site, click on Kimmy's name in my blogroll and follow the links from her blog.
So............ what the heck am I going to write about every day for a month? It seemed easy to do last year until mid-month when most of those involved seemed to run out of material. That was when it got good because we started talking about personal stuff, deep secrets, etc. Yeah, that was fun.
I think I'll start this month saying I'm sorry. Recently we became friends with a couple that, if they were living closer (or longer here), I doubt little they would have become dear, dear friends. They already have been drawn into Ell and I's inner circle with little effort. They are awesome. The other day I infiltrated a beautifully honest post with nothing more than a desire to have a discussion. I didn't disagree with anything that was written or any of the comments; even so, I made comments that seemed to challenge thoughts and ideas therein. What a jerk. My sister Ginny says sometimes I argue for no other reason than to argue. I know she's right. This was a good example.
You know who you are, and I'm sorry. I didn't disagree but was in a mood to debate. That wasn't right and I'm sorry. I should probably get checked out. Love you both!
So............ what the heck am I going to write about every day for a month? It seemed easy to do last year until mid-month when most of those involved seemed to run out of material. That was when it got good because we started talking about personal stuff, deep secrets, etc. Yeah, that was fun.
I think I'll start this month saying I'm sorry. Recently we became friends with a couple that, if they were living closer (or longer here), I doubt little they would have become dear, dear friends. They already have been drawn into Ell and I's inner circle with little effort. They are awesome. The other day I infiltrated a beautifully honest post with nothing more than a desire to have a discussion. I didn't disagree with anything that was written or any of the comments; even so, I made comments that seemed to challenge thoughts and ideas therein. What a jerk. My sister Ginny says sometimes I argue for no other reason than to argue. I know she's right. This was a good example.
You know who you are, and I'm sorry. I didn't disagree but was in a mood to debate. That wasn't right and I'm sorry. I should probably get checked out. Love you both!
posted by Sam at 5:19 PM
5 Comments:
Glad to see you're joining!
I kinda hope we get into those personal stuff, deep secret kinda posts again this year.
Oh, me too. Those were the fun ones!!!
If this couple is really as awesome as you say they are, they're probably not offended in the least bit and on the contrary appreciates your honest thoughts on their blog and wouldn't you to be anyone you're not! What I don't know is always how to navigate being honest, for example when is the relationship ready for it, when is it absolutely necessary even if the other person will not like to hear what I have to say or, on the receiving end, is that person really being honest or are they being judgmental, does that sting a little b/c I feel hurt or because there is truth in that, etc...? What I do know is that the genuine relationships that will stand the test of time are the ones in my life where there has been, among many other beautiful things, honesty. I think sometimes being honest with someone lets them know you care about their relationship enough to risk something and grow in it.
P.S. Love you too Sam
I just....(less than a half hour ago) came back from a weekend retreat that I have been attending every six months for about two years. Most of the women at this retreat (numbering 11-14 individuals) meet every week with a group facilitated by a counselor. They have included me and a couple of other ladies from Columbus. It is usually a very intense weekend. Many of these women have come out of abusive homes and come to this support group to unpack their baggage with these other women who understand where they are coming from and in a safe environment. On these retreats the first thing that the counselor will ask is "Is there any group issues." These women are HONEST! Sometimes brutally honest. But the honesty comes from years of hiding their true selves and then learning that who they are isn't bad (although it may be different). When I first started going, it made me uncomfortable. Now I appreciate it. I came from a family that was never honest and when you were....you were looked at as being a troublemaker. I appreciate that I can be honest AND accepted AND loved at the same time. My opinion matters, even if it isn't the same as yours. And sometimes we may even say the same things in different words and be totally misunderstood, but we can still be loved and accepted. I appreciate honest....integrity. Not to HURT someone or to make you feel good about yourself, but speaking the truth in love is a wonderful thing and I love it. Thanks Sam, I appreciate your honesty! Maybe some day I'll get to know you and Ell more than just "words" on a page.
Who ever those two friends are they must be jerks if they took such offense at your comments. But, I learned some time ago that it is important to pay attention to times you feel you should apologize. Even if it may be unfounded, it helps both sides be vulnerable and in turn get to know each other better. Although I'm sure these friends didn't take any offense at all, it's nice to see humility and vulnerability.
Peace out sucka!
Dave
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