Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday Funny

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said "Guess" on it. So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people for President and over fifty for Miss America?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for exercise class.
When I was young we used to go skinny dipping. Now I just chunky dunk.
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our lives we could just hit, Ctrl Alt Delete and start over?
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school but they can in prison?
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Wouldn't you know it... brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever.

Have a great weekend everyone.


Blogger Andrew said...

blogger is being stupid and wont let me post on your lollapolaza post. Nice jokes by the way. Anywhoo, I listened to and audio interview of Kevin Lyman (started warp tour) and he was on the first couple lollapoloza's as tour manager and he talkes about the tour alot and pearl jam. Let me know if you want it maybe I can send a copy your way.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Send it. I'd love to hear it.

10:05 AM  
Blogger GUYK said...

BAWAHAHAHAHA I gotta lift these and post them for those who are too busy and /or too lazy to follow a link..

10:30 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Lift away my good sir.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Zoooma said...

Many American citizens go hungry everyday and without healthcare... while known terrorists get three square meals a day and free doctor care in Gitmo.

Got cancer? Can't afford medical bills? Travel to Afghanistan or Iraq and take up arms against the United States. Intentionally get caught without getting killed and you're all set!

This isn't an endorsement of a national healthcare system paid for by raising taxes -- just kinda fits with a couple things mentioned in your post. Weird world ain't it?!

11:21 AM  

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