Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I feel so selfish sometimes

Today was a bad day at work. Busy beyond belief, reports not filed, phone calls not returned, and rounding out the day a complete lack of focus on my boss' part which left me picking up the pieces. Add to that I didn't get lunch, I had to do other people's work, and the bank I work for has some really outdated processes that waste a lot of time.

And then to home life... Ell is back to a demanding school load, her work schedule means a few days a week we see each other less minutes than I have fingers on one hand, and I am trying to organize finances that always seem to come up short. And then there's the painful winter cold that numbs my bones and the work it takes to keep our house warm.

Sucky, right? Only to a selfish person.

1) I have two dear friends that each lost one of their parents way too early and daily I think about the heaviness that must bring.
2) My darling little four year old niece is in a fight against disease, infection, and her future. Her Mom, my sister is trying to understand and deal with it all while still keeping her family going with all of its (normal for her, intense for anyone else) stresses of the rest of her family.
3) My Grandma is sitting in an empty home trying to cope with the fact that her husband of 60+ years is gone.
4) My Dad rolls around in a wheelchair, confined to his home, unable to live his old, active lifestyle. Or be the Dad I need and he wants to be.
5) Special friends of our's are living in a foreign country, trying to cope with language barriers, attempting to raise a son, trying to live out God's plan for their lives... all while fighting the blockades that satan keeps throwing at them.
6) People in Haiti are sad, alone, frustrated, and many, simply dying.

How many more do I need to add to the list?

My life is... relatively... great. Yet I whine. It's really annoying when I get like this. Ell calls it my Man-Cycle. Maybe she's right. I get a little depressed, I get moody, I scowl, I hold secret grudges, and I lie that I'm alright. I need to make a list like the one above when I get like that. It helps to know I'm not doing that bad... comparitively. And it helps center my prayer and perspective.

Please, no one comment good wishes for me. Instead say a prayer for someone on that list, or your own list. And thank your God for your own good things. Perspective. Use it.


Blogger Adrienne said...

I just need to tell you...I changed the names and locations of your most recent friday funny to harm the innocent and had a great bit of fun!

11:25 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i wont wish you any good, as per requested... but i will say that we ALL have our own battles. and they do matter. and will also say a few prayers, as per requested... for all who hurt, for whatever their reason(s) may be.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Melissa Blair said...

I know exactly how you feel.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Kyle said...

Dude. I know about the Man-cycle. I get that too. I feel like it gets even more intense during the winter, too. It just got cold again and we've seen maybe 5 minutes of sun the past several days. That's depressing. I think we all need a big warm sunny vacation paid for by someone else!

10:31 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

My man cycle has never stopped. I've been complaining about my life for like 15 years. Oh well.
I miss you brother. Sorry we missed our Friday call. We'll have a phone soon and I'll be able to call for free.

1:35 PM  

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